Family

Becoming Parents

We had moved to St. Louis from Chicago. We bought a house. We had somewhat of a savings account. Our millionth friend announced their pregnancy on Facebook. But we didn’t feel like there was this overwhelming missing piece in our lives. We loved spending time together and had built a life around a pretty selfish existence. Nice dinners, lots of wine and sleeping in on the weekends were fairly normal for us.  After deciding to get our first child (a furry, four-legged sweetheart of a dog named Maisy), we felt like we had some idea of what responsibility felt like and started to think about the future – how many kids we wanted to have, how old we wanted to be when we have them, how much money we wanted in the bank account, etc. We naively set out to plan all of our next steps.

I had no idea if it would be easy for me to pregnant. Alex and I met in college and had spent our entire relationship trying to NOT get pregnant so trying to seemed foreign to me. I had heard so many stories about the trials and tribulations of deciding to start a family and I knew chances were, it may take a few months. We were visiting friends who had a 6 month old at the time and she was just the sweetest. We spent the weekend with them doing all the things that we typically would have done had they been without their babe, only this time they had a little one, and we thought, hey, maybe we could do this. From that point on we decided that we would stop preventing it. The next month…I was pregnant. I am so so so thankful that I didn’t have to deal with any fertility issues but quite literally was shocked and felt slightly unprepared to dive head first in this new stage of life. However, I was weirdly calm about it all.

I say that we were naive about starting a family because there is nothing that prepares you for what’s to come. I joined no less than 6 Facebook groups, I asked hundreds of questions to all my friends who have babies, I read the titles/inside 3 pages of popular baby books (never actually finished a whole one) and inundated myself with so much information I thought for sure I was going to be overly prepared for the arrival of my sweet babe. I wasn’t…at all. The overwhelming feeling of love and happiness and exhaustion (omg the exhaustion) and anxiety is nothing you can prepare for. My point is, regardless of the thousands of opinions and education materials and mom sites, you really just have to figure it out on your own…and you do. There is so much hatred in the world we live in….so much judgment. What we really need are strong, supportive conversations that empower us as parents to make decisions ourselves and talk about the realness of being responsible for the growth and happiness of another human being. And that is really what this blog is about. Parent life. What we like. What we don’t like. What works for us. What doesn’t work for us. What works for other people and what doesn’t. Supportive information to help inform survival of this crazy world we live in. And chunky baby smiles. Lots and lots of chunky baby smiles.

 

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